


The Flowers of My Love

by Akiko_Natsuko



Series: I Take Pride in What I Am 2020 [9]
Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Friendship/Love, Hanahaki Disease, Love Confessions, Near Death, Requited Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-10
Updated: 2020-06-10
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:01:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24642154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akiko_Natsuko/pseuds/Akiko_Natsuko
Summary: The waterlilies had grown since the last she had done this, and it was like staring into an ornamental pond as she watched them drift, caught in the flow of the water making up her body. It was achingly beautiful, and she hated and loved the flowers in equal measure as they danced inside her watery form. She pressed her fingers to her chest, dipping into the water, brushing against one delicate flower as it floated close.
Relationships: Lucy Heartfilia/Juvia Lockser
Series: I Take Pride in What I Am 2020 [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1771147
Comments: 2
Kudos: 31
Collections: I Take Pride in What I Am 2020





	The Flowers of My Love

**Author's Note:**

> Please note that if you want to talk to me about my fics and writing, or anime/shows/games in general then you can now find me on discord [The Unholy Trinity](https://discord.gg/6sSddAWa5c).

Juvia couldn’t breathe, and not just because of the petals and curling fronds that pressed against the back of her throat and tightened around her lungs and hearts. That was a sensation that she was almost used to at this point. A constant companion, a reminder of the love that made her heart race, and breath catch. No, what stopped her this time, and had her heart threatening to beat out of her chest was the fact that Lucy was there, white with shock, eyes wide, hands outstretched but hovering as though she was worried that her touch alone would make Juvia break. Maybe it would, Juvia wasn’t sure anymore, and she might have welcomed it were it not for another feeling that had wiggled it’s way into her chest, cutting through the pain, the encroaching fear and dread… a tiny, glistening spark of hope.

“Juvia…?” There was a question, a dozen questions in that single word, but Juvia didn’t hear them, instead focusing on the fear, the concern for her as the Celestial Mage’s eyes tracked the blood that she could feel trickling down her chin. The only outward sign of her suffering, of the coughing, choking fit that had gripped her moments ago when Lucy had come across to talk to her, pressing close, unaware of what her mere presence could do to Juvia these days.

It was Lucy who had supported her, arm tight around her, hand drawing soothing patterns against her arm as she had coughed and spluttered, whispering soothing words and calling for help in the same breath. It was Lucy who had caught the beautiful, bloody petals that had spilt forth from Juvia’s lips when she had doubled over, no longer able to keep her secret, helpless to fight the rising pressure in her chest and throat. And it was Lucy, trembling but gentle, who had pulled her away, making excuses to the others who had gathered around to try and help, steering Juvia out from under the curious, worried stares of their friends and away upstairs.

Now they were alone.

Something, that Juvia had been craving and avoiding for months, because this close, her skin itched, her heart ached, and the flowers tightened their hold on her. All she had to do was step forward and reach out, and she could tangle her fingers with Lucy’s and pretend for a fleeting moment that it was over, that Lucy could feel the same way. The pressure was building in her throat again, more petals readying to force their way out, and she swallowed against them, a futile attempt to hold them back, wanting to spare Lucy from seeing it again.

“Who?” Her eyes flickered back to Lucy, unaware that she had looked away, heart twisting afresh as she realised that the other woman was looking at the petals still cradled in her hands.

“…who?” Juvia echoed weakly. _Don’t ask me that…_

“Hanahaki,” Lucy whispered, eyes locked on Juvia and the Water Mage couldn’t stop herself from flinching at the word that had defined her existence for the past few months. The illness, the curse, that was slowly destroying her from the inside out, and Lucy closed her eyes, but not quickly enough to stop Juvia from seeing the pain in them. “Who?” It was less than a whisper this time, and it sounded as though it hurt Lucy to say it. _Does she…?_ Juvia quashed that though before it was fully formed, refusing to allow herself that hope. She had made that mistake too many times, clutching at straws, trying to see more in Lucy’s words and actions just to delay the inevitable, but they were passed that point now, and she pressed a hand to her mouth as a cough rippled through her, petals raw against the back of her throat as she shook her head.

_Don’t make me say it…_

There was a pause as she coughed and choked until eventually, another petal landed in her palm, and she lowered her hand to study it. It was beautiful, white and pale pink and tipped with a splash of darker pink and splattered with blood. She curled her fingers around it for a moment and then threw it away. “It doesn’t matter,” she said finally, voice raspy.

“It does matter!” Lucy’s voice was rising, and there were tears in her eyes now as she stepped forward, closing the distance between them. “Juvia, I…you matter!” She was moving closer, too close and Juvia flinched back, but there was nowhere for her to go, and part of her ached to reach out, to let Lucy close and so she faltered. Unable to move, unable to breathe as the Celestial mage reached for her. Not drawing her into an embrace like she had expected, but instead reaching for her face with trembling hands, as she slowly, tenderly wiped away the blood, before cupping her face. Leaving Juvia no escape, as Lucy studied her with tearful eyes. “Please, tell me who it is, let me try to help.”

“I can’t…”

How many times had Juvia dreamt of telling Lucy how she felt about her? How many dreams had she had where her feelings had been returned, only for her to wake alone in her own bed surrounded by the proof of her unrequited feelings? She knew that Lucy loved her, but as a friend, not in the same, breath-taking sense that Juvia did, and that hurt, but she didn’t blame the Celestial Mage. It was her heart that had wanted more, that had dreamt to the point where it was killing her, and she wouldn’t put that on the other woman.

“Why not?” Lucy demanded, and her hands were still gentle as her fingers swiped at the tears that Juvia was only now aware of trickling down her cheeks. “You d-deserve to be loved.” Her voice caught, and there was that note of hurt again, as though it pained her to imagine it. “Juvia…I can’t lose you…” Her voice had dropped until the slightest breeze would have swept the words away, but as close as they were there was no way for Juvia to miss them, and there was a roaring in her ears.

_I can’t lose you…_

“You…?” Juvia’s throat tightened, the petals rising again, trying to steal away the desperate, welling hope in her chest, and her tears fell faster.

_Was I wrong?_

She couldn’t speak, the petals stopping her, the tendrils tightening and all she could do was stare at Lucy, at the possibility of salvation, and feel it slipping through her fingers as darkness encroached on the edges of her vision.

 _Lucy do you…could you…love me?_  
  
Time was slipping away, the world beginning to fade in and out, but Lucy’s hands were still on her cheeks, pressed against them now, trying to anchor her. She could see the other woman’s mouth moving, but whatever Lucy was saying was lost to the roar in her ears. It was too late, she had waited too long, and she could see it in the wide eyes fixed on hers, in the tears now dampening Lucy’s cheeks that she itched to reach out and brush away, but her body wouldn’t respond.

_I waited too long, I…_

A flicker of an idea dawned, and as everything else faded, she reached for her magic. Pouring everything she was and had. It was slow like she was miles away from her magic, but slowly it responded, and she could feel her body coming undone, skin giving way to swirling water, and she felt rather than heard Lucy’s startled gasp, a breeze that cast ripples over a still pool. Opening eyes she hadn’t meant to close, she found that Lucy had stumbled back, glancing between now damp hands and Juvia’s watery form…and what lay within, and taking a shaky breath, and using the last of her strength Juvia looked down, following her gaze.

The waterlilies had grown since the last she had done this, and it was like staring into an ornamental pond as she watched them drift, caught in the flow of the water making up her body. It was achingly beautiful, and she hated and loved the flowers in equal measure as they danced inside her watery form. She pressed her fingers to her chest, dipping into the water, brushing against one delicate flower as it floated close.

“Juvia…” Lucy was there, right in front of her once more, her hand hovering over Juvia’s own watery one, the trembling visible. There was awe, and pain and fear in that word, and something softer, something tender, and Juvia felt the drifting flowers quiver. They were moving too, floating towards where her hand rested, where Lucy’s was wavering, letting the Celestial Mage see that these were no normal water lilies, their centres star-shaped, reflecting Juvia’s love for the woman in front of her.

A sob broke the quiet that had fallen, and Juvia honestly wasn’t sure who it had come from, and she wanted to say something, to apologise, to say the words she had been too afraid to say for so long, the words that had killed her. Because she was dying, she realised, the world fading faster now, her magic struggling to hold her together. Would she flow away? Disappear to water like she had always imagined? Or would she become solid once more, leaving Lucy with a shell of who she had been?

_I’m so sorry Lucy, I wish…I…_

“I love you,” Lucy’s voice broke into her fading thoughts, cutting through the roaring that she had thought would be the last thing she heard, and then there were lips against hers. Juvia felt it, a ripple of warmth in her watery form, and despite everything, she smiled as the world faded away entirely.

_I got to hear you say it…_

**

Juvia wasn’t sure what she had expected from death, but it wasn’t this slowly fading darkness. Or, the dull, throbbing ache that was beginning to make itself known in her chest, and the press of something soft and warm beneath and against her as she stirred. As she shifted, distantly noting that she was solid again, there was a burst of noise above her, and although she couldn’t make out the words, if they were even words, she couldn’t help but recognise Lucy’s voice. _Why is she here?_ Was her first frantic thought, terror gripping her, the ache in her chest intensifying and her eyes flew open, even as her mind began to realise that this wasn’t death.

That she wasn’t dead….

Lucy’s tear-stained face swam into view above her, beautiful and oh so close that Juvia would be able to touch it if she lifted her arm, but her body was heavy and sluggish, slow to respond to her commands. And all that she could manage was her fingers twitching, and a heavy blink. Lucy’s eyes darted to her hand, and then back to her face, and there was hope, and fear, and the emotion that Juvia had been so afraid to identify before. _Love._

_I love you._

She remembered Lucy saying the words and took a shuddering breath and blinked realising that while it ached, as though someone had pounded on her chest inside and out, there were no petals pressing against her throat. No flowers and fronds choking her heart or lungs, and she blinked again and opened her mouth, trying to ask what had happened, to say anything at all as she watched fresh tears trickling down Lucy’s cheeks. Her throat felt raw, and she tasted copper, and the words wouldn’t come, and Lucy seemed to realise, because she reached for the hand that Juvia had been trying to move, twining their fingers together like Juvia had only dared to imagine in her happiest dreams.

“Look,” Lucy’s voice sounded as raw as Juvia imagined hers would, as the Celestial mage slowly raised her other hand. Juvia’s breath caught at the sight of the swirling orb of water in Lucy’s hand, and the waterlily floating in its centre, not the pale pink and white of the ones she’d coughed up for so long, but blood red. “You coughed this up after I…after I said I love you…” Juvia didn’t remember any of that, and as she looked at the orb and felt for the water in it, she could feel traces of her magic, but it was different. Separate. Independent of her, a memento and a reminder of what had happened, a promise made with the whispering of those three words which had saved her and finding a flicker of strength she lifted the hand not held in Lucy’s and reached up. Pressing her hand to the opposite side of the orb, swallowing thickly as she met Lucy’s gaze, and whispering in a ragged, broken voice the words she had been so afraid of for so long, and which now held warmth and hope, and the promise of a future together.

“It’s you…I love you.”  
  



End file.
